In the end we only have our stories
We take the stories from our childhood into adulthood with us.
One story I used to tell myself, subconsciously, is that the people you love will always be there for you.
While you are probably thinking, "Well, it sounds like you had a pretty stellar upbringing if the people you loved never disappointed you."
You would be right. I did have a good ride.
The painful thing is: I've been met with disappointment this past decade; those I've loved deeply and intimately have let me down and hurt me.
For example, it has taken me years to truly learn what other people think of me is truly none of my business, and people who don't love themselves will never change for you.
The stories we tell ourselves can be good or bad, and they most certainly include expectations and assumptions. It is our job as adults to deconstruct those assumptions (maybe even do the painful work of debunking them), so we can do a better job of addressing our fears.
Once we can genuinely articulate our fears, we can better understand our motives and triggers. In understanding our motivations and triggers, we can control our reactions and better articulate our needs.
When our needs are met (especially our basic ones), we can do the even harder work of loving ourselves. Once we love ourselves, it is then we can love others more purely and wholly.
It is only then, that we have clarity over the direction and ultimate purpose of our lives.
When we reach that space, a place Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls flow state or "optimal experience," our true essence and purpose emerges.
If we could use that purpose in our work as military spouses and business owners, I truly believe we could change the world.
What does this place of peace and purpose look like for you. Comment below and let us know.